Proceed with Caution, There’s a bit of Vulgarity . . .

My last blog post broke the record for “number of views” and “number of visitors” in a twenty-four hour period. In addition to the raw numbers reflected on the “stats” page, two people said, “I’m enjoying your blog.” These comments were made in person: #1 at my yoga studio and #2 at the grocer.

(This leaves me to think that the only time I leave my house is to #1 restore my internal balance and #2 to buy ingredients to cook for my family. I held ‘scorpion pose’ for seven breaths today and made chana masala for dinner. One was much more impressive than the other.)

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All right, they’re both pretty impressive, though for different reasons.

In the glow of feeling impressed with myself, I know that I am sharing the limelight with countless aspiring authors who spent every day in the month of November dedicated to putting words on a page (or a screen, more likely) with a NaNoWriMo goal of 50K words in 30 days.

Believe me. That’s a shit-ton of words.

(Apparently, “shit-load” is an antiquated — like from the 1980’s — term for “a lot;” “Shit-ton” is the new “shit-load.” Additionally, for those of you who like the sound of “load” in a descriptor for “a lot,” “f*ck-load” is the trendy way to incorporate “load” into everyday language. Pardon the digression, but Rob has been nagging me to find a way to get “shit-ton” and “f*ck-load” into the blog. I did it, Sweetheart. Aren’t you so proud of me?)

Back to NaNoWriMo: people worked hard these last thirty days. If you learn that someone you know “did NaNoWriMo,” just congratulate that person for doing it. Please restrain yourself from asking if it’s going to be published. In addition to the shit-ton of words that person wrote, that person is aware of a shit-ton of other people who wrote a shit-ton of words all with the flicker of a dream to become a NYTimes best-selling author.

Most of us would be better off swimming with sharks, golfing during a lightning storm or playing PowerBall.

But odds of getting published aside, (I just noticed how similar “published” and “punished” are. Coincidence? Nope.) it is a remarkable accomplishment to be that intensely creative.

Yay to all of those who “won” NaNoWriMo.

Yay to the rest of us who held scorpion pose for seven breaths and made a shit-ton of delicious chana masala.

(Note: as you have endured to the end of the post through foul, foul language, I promise you will never see “shit-ton” in this blog again. I make no such representation for “f*ck-load.” Consider yourself having received proper notice.)


5 thoughts on “Proceed with Caution, There’s a bit of Vulgarity . . .

  1. Chana Masala:
    1. Boil bag of chick peas until tender.
    2. In a large pot, fry 4 bay leaves.
    3. In a food processor, grind
    2 onions
    8 cloves garlic
    1 jalapeno pepper
    2 inches ginger root
    30 oz. can diced tomatoes
    4. Put #3 in with #2
    5. Add to pot 2 t. of each: chili powder, tumeric, ground coriander, ground cumin
    6. Add to pot the cooked chick peas
    7. Simmer for at least 45 minutes
    8. Serve over brown rice.
    The above recipe serves a hungry family of six, i.e., it’s a f*ck-load. (I almost wrote the word I promised never to write again.)


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