This open letter is to every person who has had the opportunity to both observe and make conclusions about me and my character for the last many years. 

Five years ago, I resigned my seat on our town’s Board of Selectmen. This was for many painful reasons, not the least of which was an error of judgment I made during my time on this board. While I have chosen to remain quiet about the details of this mistake,^ it does not change the very real fact that my resignation was, to many, a betrayal of my responsibility and a breach of the trust that was given to me in my role.

For the pain that I caused, I chose silence over taking ownership for my part in a very human mistake.

Over the past five years, I have become intimately acquainted with every phase of grief; denial and isolation, anger, and depression. I have spent time exploring my behavior and learning more about the power of asking for forgiveness and a second chance.

The guiding principle that has led to my deeper understanding of my role in the world—and more pointedly, my role as a member of a community—is the higher wisdom found in the notion that my life’s work must revolve around striving to reduce the suffering that my actions have caused.

I offer you, the readers of this letter, who know me or believe things about me, my earnest hope that you realize that I am aware that my actions have, in fact, caused suffering. While this result was never intended, I recognize that it exists.

In that light, I ask for your open-heartedness, understanding, and, one day perhaps, forgiveness.

I am not the person I was five years ago.

Many sleepless nights have been spent beating myself up over how I should have been better, how I should have made more considered choices, and how I can make amends.

People make mistakes. I have made many. If people can learn from their mistakes, they can grow. I’ve tried in my solitude to do this myself. It’s no easy task to say openly that I’m not proud of who I was, but it is my hope that in this heartfelt and humble apology, people will consider my desire to be better.

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The above essay, which I am republishing today with minor edits, was the most widely read on my blog in 2019. It was published on June 9th.

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Also, on June 9, 2019, Gary Wilson, Littleton’s current Select Board Chair (and then-member of Littleton’s Finance Committee) offered these thoughts about the letter in the “Comments” section:

Jenna, though we only know each other loosely through town matters, I deeply respect your honesty and bravery in sharing a very personal story. As I was reading your letter, I realized I would have found it extremely difficult to do the same. It goes without saying that time heals and truth endures.

I, for one, really hope Gary’s right about that very last part—the part about the endurance of truth,

Jenna

^ This representation was made prior to my publication of GINNED UP, which occurred over the course of 40 consecutive weeks: from July 19, 2021, to April 18, 2022.