Years ago, I stayed overnight in the Spam capital of America: Austin, Minnesota. Although I skipped the museum tour, I did manage to meet an interesting woman. Divorced with a handful of teenagers–some biological, some adopted–she had just returned from two weeks abroad, traveling with her 14-year-old daughter. Just the two of them. While I […]

Read more "Why Go So Far Away?"

In our daily lives we are asked to share, update, and post. I translate those into “divulge, disclose, and publish.” Although we have the privilege of privacy, that is, no one is forced to use social media platforms, we oftentimes (and with abandon) divulge and disclose to anyone willing to be our audience and perhaps out of […]

Read more "The Signal (self-knowledge) Versus the Noise (perceptions of others)"

  In our culture of minute-to-minute inter-connectedness, we have come to expect ourselves and others to disclose (share one’s thoughts/experiences) AND respond (perceive and comment on the thoughts/experiences of others). Somehow we have come to regard “full engagement” as being part of a running (and oftentimes meaningless) commentary on things that 1) we don’t really understand […]

Read more "Fighting against the Absurd"

Recently I had the opportunity to “interview” for a volunteer position. Myself, along with the other volunteer candidates, were asked questions by a five-member panel. Ostensibly, these open, public interviews gave the candidates a chance–above and beyond what each of us might have shared via our written applications–to impress the panel with our detailed and […]

Read more "Women are Still Dealing with This"

For the last little while, it has seemed as though everything I consider doing is too challenging, too time consuming, or simply unrealistic. Some little voice in my head screams thoughts at me throughout the day. “You can’t get published.” Too challenging. “You can’t really get to know what your children experience.” Too time consuming. […]

Read more "When Choice is Suspended between Perseverance and Abandonment of Effort"

In any average day, you can find me reading non-fiction essays that focus primarily on erudite topics that integrate philosophy, social justice, feminism, politics, creativity, and mindfulness. Guess what? There is nothing “new” out there. Nevertheless, it’s nice to have the thoughts of others to deepen an understanding with which we already have a familiarity. Recently, I […]

Read more "Haters Gonna Hate"

While I am not a four-year-old boy in a yellow t-shirt wondering whether I will be invited into the circle, I am acutely aware of the anxiety he must be feeling in that “in between” place. He is probably, in his naive/juvenile way, thinking that once they spot him, he’ll be waved over (naive) and […]

Read more "The Longing for (Not) Belonging"

One of the greatest gifts we have as a species is the ability to find ourselves in a state of relaxation. We are allowed, perhaps even encouraged, to “find time” for ourselves. Unlike the average frog, who probably spends its days hunting for flies and avoiding predators, we are always looking for ways to unwind, […]

Read more "Relaxation requires Supine Frogs, Yoga, and Marijuana"

Without much provocation, each of us has the capacity to become easily unmoored, sent into the storm, and battered around until begging for surrender. Less esoterically: someone with time on his/her hands can push our buttons, cause stress and anxiety, and make us question our place in society. The provocateur could be an intimate partner, […]

Read more "Finding Balance in Turbulent Times— or How to Sail Through Your Average Shit Storm"

Think that sounds too cerebral? Nah. It only sounds like some fancy philosophical term. Here’s how I define existential relativism: my own private shit show. See? Not at all learned or esoteric. Here’s how this got started: I wrote a blog piece the other day that garnered a thoughtful and lengthy comment, that in so many […]

Read more "Existential Relativism: Trust me . . ."