I wrote this one year ago:
There comes a time in everyone’s life when contemplation about what really matters becomes an overarching obsession. Perhaps it’s the time of year: that cultural push to reflect on what one should be grateful for — being the week of Thanksgiving. Perhaps it’s the onset of cold weather: that seasonal effect causing a thoughtfulness around change and the coming hibernation.
I suppose, for me, right now, it’s a little of both.
Ambiguity has settled in and spurns my valuation of those people who I choose to surround myself with. Thankfully, I enjoy my family. And there are some friends who are truly compassionate toward not only my selfish ego but also those wider issues which affect us all.
And then there’s the chaff. There seems to be a lot of recent chaff.
I hate the fact I have been feeling so surrounded by my perceived emptiness in others and wonder if I’m expecting too much.
But settling into complacency also is an unwelcomed result. Because feeling semi-grateful is invariably coupled with feeling semi-disappointed.
And there’s nothing rewarding in that.
So, here’s to those things that matter and a hope for the insight to know the wheat when I see it.
And one year later, I’m still at it; and one year later, I can look back and know that mindfulness matters even if perceptions are blurry.