Over the course of long-term relationships, we have the unique human opportunity to not only learn a great deal about the other person but also many things about ourselves through the relational lens that person employs when interacting with us. Unlike an acquaintance or even a friend, when one shares decades of  his/her life’s experience with […]

Read more "The Ghost (dead space) Between Us"

The other day I had a conversation with someone whom I’ve always liked. We got to talking about my recent trip with my 14-year-old daughter. I explained our family’s tradition of offering our children a trip anywhere they’d like when they get to the place where they are between “childhood” and “adulthood.” I shared my […]

Read more "Girls are Still Dealing with This"

In writing, there is a constant pull and push between narration and disclosure. Time and time again I find myself writing “fiction” that comes from something I myself  or someone I know has experienced. This doesn’t mean that what I type into my laptop, under the guise of “current work in progress” is a direct […]

Read more "Exercising Discretion"

Anyone born between 1958 and 1973 probably can put those words, “One thing leads to another,” to music, especially if reminded of a band called The Fixx.  The band was at the height of its popularity right around the time I finished high school and, so far as I can tell, faded into happy obscurity. […]

Read more "One Thing Leads to Another"

In this image, you see a woman comfortably seated in lotus, having coaxed her arms through and past her elbows. She looks content, bordering on bored. Here’s what it looks like when done by an actual person, who also appears pretty mellow: A side view: This week after a long break from my daily Ashtanga […]

Read more "Making Something Look Easy Takes Years"

I called my mother today to apologize for my “atrocious behavior.” (Those quotation marks are properly attributed as those were the words I used.) I caught her off guard. “What are you talking about?” she asked with genuine curiosity. I reminded her that several decades ago, I was 14 and a half. (I let this […]

Read more "A Decades-In-The-Making Apology"

Being an adult requires lots of strengths. One strength that is expected of grown-ups, pretty much across the board, is that of self-reliance. The idea that you do what you can to the best of your ability and draw satisfaction from the experience. Whether it be work, parenting, or garnering a new skill, the “adult” […]

Read more "Drawing a Contrast"

Years ago, I stayed overnight in the Spam capital of America: Austin, Minnesota. Although I skipped the museum tour, I did manage to meet an interesting woman. Divorced with a handful of teenagers–some biological, some adopted–she had just returned from two weeks abroad, traveling with her 14-year-old daughter. Just the two of them. While I […]

Read more "Why Go So Far Away?"

In our daily lives we are asked to share, update, and post. I translate those into “divulge, disclose, and publish.” Although we have the privilege of privacy, that is, no one is forced to use social media platforms, we oftentimes (and with abandon) divulge and disclose to anyone willing to be our audience and perhaps out of […]

Read more "The Signal (self-knowledge) Versus the Noise (perceptions of others)"

  In our culture of minute-to-minute inter-connectedness, we have come to expect ourselves and others to disclose (share one’s thoughts/experiences) AND respond (perceive and comment on the thoughts/experiences of others). Somehow we have come to regard “full engagement” as being part of a running (and oftentimes meaningless) commentary on things that 1) we don’t really understand […]

Read more "Fighting against the Absurd"